Running 1

The Worst Photo-Documented Run

By @colleenalicia · On November 26, 2010

The last time I ran was last Tuesday, the 16th. I almost blogged about it but then I got sleepy and didn’t stop being sleepy or busy with eating or working or something until just right now. I finally have time to tell about it, but first I want to wish a happy Thanksgiving to everybody and share with you this note that somebody left in my parents’ newspaper box:


This was the nicest Thanksgiving note I’ve ever received (even though it was technically left at my parents’ house, N.N.S. must not have realized I’d moved out). It reminded me of my old friend, Kyle Sullivan-Jones. I haven’t seen him for a very long time, but five years ago I took this picture of him that I like very much:


Back to my run. Last Tuesday I decided I would get crazy and try 3 miles, and see how my leg liked that (spoiler alert: it liked that very much). The problem was that I was out doing things that I can no longer remember, and I wouldn’t be getting home until about 4:15. I had told myself that I needed to start my run by 4:30 though, because otherwise it would get too dark and nobody would be able to see Pascal and he would get hit and die, which I didn’t want to happen for obvious reasons. I don’t know if 15 minutes is enough time for some people to transition from being out and doing things to running, but when I get home I like to spend time in the following way:

  1. 5 minutes putting my stuff down and then staring at the inside of the fridge
  2. 1-2 minutes going to the bathroom
  3. 5 minutes lying on my bed
  4. 2 minutes getting dressed to go running
  5. 20 minutes watching the internet
  6. 5 minutes to stare at the inside of the fridge
  7. 20 minutes watching the internet
  8. 5 minutes drinking water/tying my key to my shoe/putting on Pascal’s leash (on Pascal, not me) and leaving

This is a total of 63-64 minutes. When I have only 15 minutes I only have time for nos. 1, 2, 4, and 8. This is primarily stressful because when I do this it makes me realize how much more efficient I could be with my life than I normally am, and I don’t like to be reminded of this. Last Tuesday however, it was necessary, so that’s exactly what I did. Well not exactly what I did, it still took me about a half hour before I left, but it was faster than usual.

As I set out for my run I was feeling guilty for neglecting the blog for too long, so I decided to photo-document it with my extra high-quality camera phone. I thought this would be a great way for all my readers to get a feel for what it’s like to be me, when I run.

Running out of the parking lot at full speed. (4:50PM)

Immediately stopping to smell things/consider taking a pee. (4:52PM)

More running. (4:55PM)

Then it got dark. (5:17PM)

It turns out that 4:45 was right when it first started getting dark, meaning by the time it was 5:15 you couldn’t see my dog at all unless you wore night-vision goggles. I don’t have many qualms about being careless when it comes to my own safety while running, but I don’t think it’s fair to put my dog at risk. I briefly considered buying everyone in Portland a pair of night-vision goggles and demanding that they wear them always, but I don’t have that kind of money right now. Instead I went to a pet store early this week and asked if they had a reflective vest for my puppy. They did not, but the lady sold me a Bling Bling Blinker, and also suggested that I buy one of their dog jackets and then get some reflective tape to put on them. This only led to huge disappointment, because I found a bright red rain jacket that looked fantastic on Pascal, but even the XXL was too small for him. Hopefully the Bling Bling Blinker will do the trick (it’s just a light with a stupid name that goes on the collar). Anyway, I can’t really focus on what I’m writing anymore because all I can think about is how I want to post a picture I took last week of a dead squirrel and write, “here’s a picture of a squirrel sleeping,” but I’m afraid it would be in bad taste so I’m not doing it.

Miles run this week: 0
Miles run in 2010: 517.5

I must confess, I started running at a very early age. Sadly, my runs were unblogumented until around age 23, so you'll have to use your imagination for all the runs I went on before that. Running has always been my go-to sport, but sadly, I spend a good amount of my time with chronic injuries. I have learned to entertain myself athletically with other pursuits such as kettlebell, yoga, and bikini competitions, when I can't run. In addition to my unique talent for working out and then blogging about it, I am an amateur puppy stylist and photographer, television enthusiast, and I'm usually CPR/AED certified, but I would still prefer if you didn't pass out when we're together.

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1 Comment

  • Chris says: November 26, 2010 at 8:05 pm

    this post wins for funniest. great job!

    Reply

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