Yesterday I ran for 60 seconds, pain free! I’ve decided to make this attempt at re-entry into running the most excruciatingly long and slow buildup of all time. Maybe if I trick my leg into running for just one minute at a time, eventually I’ll be going on a normal 3 mile run without it noticing. That’s the hope, anyway. But all this running got me thinking about being back in the running world. If I was running right now, I’d probably be fighting off requests to join Hood to Coast teams, which is happening next weekend. I’ve realized that Hood to Coast isn’t for me, but a lot of people still love it, or are trying it for the first time, and if you’re one of those people, I can help. Presenting…
Sure-Fire Ways to Survive the Hood to Coast
Get on a really fast team. This way you might win, and more importantly, you won’t have to be in the van as long. I know it might be a little late for this advice, but it’s still smart. Make a note to plan on doing this for next year.
Do at least 1-2 training runs in the heat. I know it’s fun to do Hood to Coast without training at all, but make sure you get out in the heat at least once before the event so if it’s super hot you’ll be slightly less miserable. I was going to link back to my 2010 Hood to Coast post because I thought it was about not training at all for the event (I didn’t, that year) but instead it’s about being hungry and how I wanted to watch the Jersey Shore, which is embarrassing, so I’ll move on instead.
Tell your team captain that your estimated time is 1 minute faster per mile than it actually is. This way your team will look up to you and you’ll be motivated to actually run the pace you reported. Because otherwise your incorrectly reported time will throw off your estimated finish time, and your team could be penalized and everyone will hate you.
When it comes to Port-a-Potty lines, be bold! Runners are nice. If you’re the next runner and the last runner is almost to the transition point, people will let you go to the bathroom. Also, if you’re about to poo your pants and there’s 60 people in line, don’t be afraid to run to the front and loudly announce it’s an emergency.
On that note, if you have a sensitive stomach, don’t take too much Ibuprofen. I know your legs hurt, but you want to avoid having to cut the entire Port-a-Potty line if possible.
Bring a lot of donuts and give them to people. As a former member of the Maple Bar Gang, I found that people reacted 50% more positively to you when you gave them a donut than when you didn’t. This doesn’t only apply to the Hood to Coast, but is a good life lesson in general.
Bring a megaphone. For yelling at people.
Now that you’ve read this all-inclusive list to prepare yourself for the Hood to Coast, you’re completely ready. Have fun, and you’re welcome.
They stopped making teams submit a time sheet, so there are no more time-related penalties as far as I know.
However, that’s not important. What’s important is: What time will Maple Bars be at the Tidewater-Johnson hand-off? I will trade for a bag of homemade hand-crafted artisan ice.
I’ve been out of the Maple Gang loop for a couple years since my leg has been hurt. I advise you to carry a bag of homemade hand-crafted artisan ice around with you at all times, just in case.
And thanks for the update on the time sheet changes. Based on that, I advise that everyone report their time as being several minutes/mile faster than reality, so they can get on a faster team and not have to sit in the van for as long. So long as not everybody takes this advice, this will work. Otherwise you may find yourself in a slow van with a bunch of liars. But that would serve you right.