Guest Blogger 1

Guest Blogger #5: Kathayoon Khalil (Running and Then Bragging About It)

By @colleenalicia · On October 6, 2012

Today, after my year-long break from guest posts, they’re back, due to popular demand (I demand that my popular friends write them)!  This time I have an entry for you from one of my very best friends, Kathayoon Khalil.  She’s qualified to guest blog for me because she’s very smart, she runs sometimes, and she loves bragging about running (not enough to start an entire blog about it, but probably because she is more eloquent than I am and doesn’t need a whole blog to brag with -plus she’s busy blogging about other things).  Anyway, here’s a picture of us together to prove that we’re friends, in case you thought I made her up:

Running and Then Bragging About It

Running is hard. And boring. And when I’m in the process of running, I mostly hate it and if I like it, it’s probably because I’m listening to a really good song or admiring my snazzy running shoes. But after a run, it’s like I’ve blacked out the entire last 30-90+ minutes and suddenly running is the greatest thing ever. Not only that, but I am also the greatest runner ever, and everone should know about it. Even if I feel like a disgusting mess while I’m running, there’s no reason why the people who hear my stories shouldn’t be free to imagine me as a spritely and graceful women, sailing over the pavement with minimal effort and maximum beauty.

When I’m lying in bed in the morning of a running day, thinking about this, I am also thinking about the myriad reasons why I could reasonably excuse myself from working out. I’m going to bike to school – that’s like, three whole miles. Each way. Yoga was harder than I thought it was going to be yesterday. My compression sleeves are still in my hamper, having failed to magically wash themselves. But then I think – if I don’t go running, how am I going to brag about running? And that’s when I get out of bed and put on my dirty compression sleeves. Just kidding. That’s gross.
It’s funny, though, because I ALWAYS want to brag about how much I ran. This morning, I ran for 16 minutes. It was less than two miles, but it was INTERVAL running, which everyone knows is way harder than normal running. At times, I’m pretty sure I was running faster than a 10 minute mile. Also, I was sweating and my legs hurt and running fast is hard. So therefore I am awesome for doing it. But I feel no more inclined to brag about 10 mile run than I do about a two mile run. What did you do this morning? Eat pancakes? Oh that’s cool, I went on a RUN. The exact details of this run, like the distance (short) and my miserable mile times (secret) are inconsequential. What matters is that I put on my big girl running shorts and moved my body to some music for some period of time. And for that you should be impressed.
I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person who has a compulsive Running Bragging (Ragging? Brunning?) Problem. My dear father is a diligent and fanatical runner. He’s run something along the lines of a billion marathons and he has taken great pleasure in bragging about every single one of them. It’s actually pretty amazing how many angles he can find from which to brag. Even if he didn’t finish (just that one time), he still finds a way to make that race sound impressive. The worst, though, is when we go running together. I don’t understand how anyone else can stand to be near us afterward. It’s not competitive – nothing like that. It’s like collaborative bragging. His bragging reminds me of things that I’d forgotten I wanted to brag about, like my boast-worthy time on that downhill part, or how I almost passed that guy at one point. It’s almost cathartic to relive every slightly positive part of the run in the most bombastic way possible. You would think we were a couple of Olympians hashing out races from our glory days. But don’t be deceived. We’re not.
And yet, though I realize that this is probably an irritating habit, I just don’t care. It’s all worth it when someone looks even mildly impressed with my workout ethic, which I like to think makes me just a little bit more impressed with myself. And if I’m a little bit impressed with myself, I’m more inclined to get up the next morning and do it again. And again. No matter how terrible it was the last time. Because in Bragging World, every run is awesome, and that outlook works just fine for me.

I must confess, I started running at a very early age. Sadly, my runs were unblogumented until around age 23, so you'll have to use your imagination for all the runs I went on before that. Running has always been my go-to sport, but sadly, I spend a good amount of my time with chronic injuries. I have learned to entertain myself athletically with other pursuits such as kettlebell, yoga, and bikini competitions, when I can't run. In addition to my unique talent for working out and then blogging about it, I am an amateur puppy stylist and photographer, television enthusiast, and I'm usually CPR/AED certified, but I would still prefer if you didn't pass out when we're together.

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1 Comment

  • Raquel Onsurez says: October 11, 2012 at 1:32 am

    I love bragging about running! Just hearing myself tell someone “I went for a run” can just light up a big smile on my face because I know how much I fought with myself to get out of bed or off the couch.

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